Es war einmal Argentinien ...
Hier ein kleiner Text von meinem guten Freund Mariano Balcarce, der uns die Entstehung seines Heimatlandes auf Grundlage neuer wissenschaftlicher Erkenntnisse schildert. Ich hoffe, die Zeilen bereiten euch soviel Freude wie mir.
"Argentine:
Once upon a time, two different creatures from the Greek mythology fell in love. It is a hidden story that nobody knows, but I am going to talk about it, and reveal what almost nobody knows about the real mythology. It was during the meeting between the inland creatures and the islanders. These two young lovers were the Minotaur the half man, half bull creature that used to live in the island of Crete, and Pegasus, the winged horse that used to live in the mount Olympus.
If someone reads about the Minotaur, we might find out that he was actually Asterius. Aste, for those who knew him very well. Not everybody knows about this. However, I have some Greek friends that told me the truth. The Minotaur, was a very strong guy, and very tough. He had the body of a strong man, a chest full of hair, long and strong legs like a football player. His head was a little different; it was a bull’s head. He had two horns that he used to paint in red every weekend whenever he went to town to have some drinks with his mythology friends. His tail was a problem; he had a bull’s tail too. Every tailor in town used to charge him a lot more every time he wanted to have new pants, or whenever he asked them to fix his jeans. His arms looked like those of Hulk Hogan, strong, capable of lifting rocks from the island of Crete and pile them up in order to build whatever he wanted to, in fact, he built his own labyrinth; he was also a great architect. I know those mythologists say that Daedalus built the labyrinth, but that is not true. He built his own labyrinth in which he lived. A four bedrooms, three bath, labyrinth, Bauhaus style with a tower looking to the Mediterranean Sea, that everybody wanted to buy from him.
Pegasus was a charming lady horse, not a stallion as they refer about her all the time. She had the very first flying company in Europe, connecting more than 36 cities non-stop for more than 60 years. She was white, and with a very particular feature, she had two beautiful wings that she used to flap all the time. Pegasus had her house close to the Parthenon. Because she was able to fly, she did not have a road to it. She was a very shy lady that did not enjoy company a lot.
Pegasus was a charming lady horse, not a stallion as they refer about her all the time. She had the very first flying company in Europe, connecting more than 36 cities non-stop for more than 60 years. She was white, and with a very particular feature, she had two beautiful wings that she used to flap all the time. Pegasus had her house close to the Parthenon. Because she was able to fly, she did not have a road to it. She was a very shy lady that did not enjoy company a lot.
When they met, Pegasus fell in love with those strong arms. Minotaur was playing golf with Zeus and having some beers, while Pegasus was having some daiquiris with her friend Pallas Athena. They looked at each other and they could not resist. They both stopped what they were doing and started talking. Zeus, kind of angry about the situation, went to talk with Pallas about what was going on; he was the King of all gods, so that act was disrespectful towards him. Pallas told him that he should let them talk, that it was going to be really good for Pegasus. During their chat, they exchanged Olympian numbers, a former type of cellular phone that Greeks developed long time ago.
Weeks after this meeting, Minotaur called and asked her to spend a week with him at Mykonos. She did not hesitate. She accepted and flew straight to the island. They spent a great week in which they almost did not do anything with anybody else, the only contact they had with somebody, was when Poseidon brought a pearl from the bottom of the ocean after Minotaur asked him for a gift for his new girlfriend.
The week was short and they both had to go back to their places. Pegasus, she did not know at that time, was carrying an offspring. Minotaur was really tired, and when he arrived home he found out that someone was breaking into it. It was Theseus, Pegasus’ former boyfriend. They had a big fight; they run around the labyrinth for a while until the most horrible thing happened. Theseus had in his pocket a lightning that he stole from Zeus while he was sleeping and stroke it into Minotaur’s head, instantly burning his horns and killing him.
Pegasus did not know anything about this. While she was carrying Caesar to Lutetia, former Paris, she had to make a stop and started vomiting. Apparently, she stopped at Helvetia, former Switzerland, so the Red Cross took her to hospital. Doctor Doolittle told her she was pregnant. She immediately called Minotaur at his Olympian. His mother answered and gave her the news. The father of his creature was dead.
Nine month later a beautiful offspring was born. He was a beautiful young baby, a perfect human body with wings and a long tail. Red Cross gave the newly mother a genetic map of the baby. He had his father’s body with his grandmother’s face, a human face. He had a perfect small nose that everybody always envied, even Cleopatra. His hands were perfect, he never ever needed manicure. His legs were strong like his father’s; they were the perfect tool for his took offs whenever he needed to fly. His chest was wide and with every single muscle showing off, Michelangelo used him as a model when he sculpted David. He inherited his mother’s tail; it was fluffy, long and cute. His wings were twice the size of his mother’s, beautiful, white and with some silver feathers. Silver at that time was called Argentum because of the new Latin wave after Caesar’s campaigns. So Pegasus named the kid, Argentine.
Argentine grew up as an adventurous kid; he flew a lot around Europe with his mother. At every city they visited he had friends. He was charming, elegant, distinguished and a ladies man. His life was full of adventures and nobody could ever resist spending some time listening to what he had to talk about his flights with his mother. His favorite place to visit was the Gotham countries, former Germany. When Pegasus died, Argentine moved to Ireland where he met Saint Brendan at a pub, the kind that we call now Irish Pubs. Saint Brendan was known at that time as “Brendan the Voyager”, who apparently traveled around the world with some other monks. Brendan told him about some new land at the other side of the water. The adventurous kid, now almost an adult, took off after putting some flowers at his parents graves and flew to the new world. He made a pit stop at Mexico were the Aztecs declared him a god, and built some pyramids in his honor. The Aztecs renamed him Quetzalcoatl. He finally chose his place to live and built his house at the southern side of this new territory, thus, originating the country that we now call in his honor, Argentina."
Weeks after this meeting, Minotaur called and asked her to spend a week with him at Mykonos. She did not hesitate. She accepted and flew straight to the island. They spent a great week in which they almost did not do anything with anybody else, the only contact they had with somebody, was when Poseidon brought a pearl from the bottom of the ocean after Minotaur asked him for a gift for his new girlfriend.
The week was short and they both had to go back to their places. Pegasus, she did not know at that time, was carrying an offspring. Minotaur was really tired, and when he arrived home he found out that someone was breaking into it. It was Theseus, Pegasus’ former boyfriend. They had a big fight; they run around the labyrinth for a while until the most horrible thing happened. Theseus had in his pocket a lightning that he stole from Zeus while he was sleeping and stroke it into Minotaur’s head, instantly burning his horns and killing him.
Pegasus did not know anything about this. While she was carrying Caesar to Lutetia, former Paris, she had to make a stop and started vomiting. Apparently, she stopped at Helvetia, former Switzerland, so the Red Cross took her to hospital. Doctor Doolittle told her she was pregnant. She immediately called Minotaur at his Olympian. His mother answered and gave her the news. The father of his creature was dead.
Nine month later a beautiful offspring was born. He was a beautiful young baby, a perfect human body with wings and a long tail. Red Cross gave the newly mother a genetic map of the baby. He had his father’s body with his grandmother’s face, a human face. He had a perfect small nose that everybody always envied, even Cleopatra. His hands were perfect, he never ever needed manicure. His legs were strong like his father’s; they were the perfect tool for his took offs whenever he needed to fly. His chest was wide and with every single muscle showing off, Michelangelo used him as a model when he sculpted David. He inherited his mother’s tail; it was fluffy, long and cute. His wings were twice the size of his mother’s, beautiful, white and with some silver feathers. Silver at that time was called Argentum because of the new Latin wave after Caesar’s campaigns. So Pegasus named the kid, Argentine.
Argentine grew up as an adventurous kid; he flew a lot around Europe with his mother. At every city they visited he had friends. He was charming, elegant, distinguished and a ladies man. His life was full of adventures and nobody could ever resist spending some time listening to what he had to talk about his flights with his mother. His favorite place to visit was the Gotham countries, former Germany. When Pegasus died, Argentine moved to Ireland where he met Saint Brendan at a pub, the kind that we call now Irish Pubs. Saint Brendan was known at that time as “Brendan the Voyager”, who apparently traveled around the world with some other monks. Brendan told him about some new land at the other side of the water. The adventurous kid, now almost an adult, took off after putting some flowers at his parents graves and flew to the new world. He made a pit stop at Mexico were the Aztecs declared him a god, and built some pyramids in his honor. The Aztecs renamed him Quetzalcoatl. He finally chose his place to live and built his house at the southern side of this new territory, thus, originating the country that we now call in his honor, Argentina."
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"If I have to apply five turns to the screw each day for the happiness of Argentina, I will do it."
Evita Peron
posted by Quizmaster 2 @ 7:22 PM
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